{ Original Title: 3월의 보름을 조심하라 | Publisher: Lezhin | Audience: Mature }
CW // episode spoilers, sexual violence
Mokhwa’s in his flower shop, doing his thing per usual. It’s been a week and Nakwon is still a no-show. Mokhwa starts reflecting on his current situation and how the peace he has wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for Nakwon.
He’s well aware that his quiet, unassuming life as a flower shop owner wouldn’t be possible if Nakwon revealed he was a police officer or if people around him knew that he was an ex-convict. His thoughts then turn to Nakwon and his intentions. What could Nakwon possibly be after? Why has Nakwon done a complete 180 and gone from hostile to kind? Why would the man who treated him in such a debauched manner before now visit him everyday, bring him food and make him smile? Mokhwa doesn’t know the answer, but he decides to call Nakwon tomorrow using the New Year as an excuse to greet him.
But then, Nakwon appears: hair disheveled (which we know from the previous episode he messed it up on purpose), arm in cast, a sheepish look on his face.
Immediately, Mokhwa reacts, demanding to know what happened. At first Nakwon thinks that maybe Mokhwa is angry at him. But then he quickly realizes no, Mokhwa is angry for him. This realization that he really might mean something to Mokhwa makes Nakwon giddy internally.
After asking for more details on what happened, Mokhwa then asks if Nakwon lives alone. Trying to manipulate the situation in his favor, Nakwon confirms he does and that he has a hard time feeding and dressing himself with one arm. Nakwon gets what he wants: Mokhwa suggests that they stay together for Nakwon’s safety. Maybe he can even convince Mokhwa to share a bed with him, since there’s only one at his place.
But Mokhwa does the unexpected and instructs Nakwon to go to his apartment instead. He writes his address down and hands Nakwon the keys. Nakwon’s about to suggest that they go to his apartment instead, but with how serious an expression Mokhwa has on his face, he decides to let it go and do as he’s told.
This manhwa creates such an internal struggle within me. As likeable as Nakwon has been so far this season in his pursuit of Mokhwa, there’s something I can’t forget: Nakwon is a narcissistic, sadistic asshole who has sexually violated Mokhwa multiple times, first out of pure domination then later out of… curiosity? Lust? Honestly, even Nakwon doesn’t know why he did what he did when they were at the hotel together (see Episode 28).
So whenever I start to feel bad for the guy that Mokhwa isn’t returning his feelings or when he has an amusing internal dialogue, I feel ill at ease because this is a man who raped Mokhwa. Is it ok to see him in any sort of positive light? Can he ever be forgiven? Will Mokhwa ever forgive him? Can Nakwon do a true 180 and become a good person, not be good just to manipulate Mokhwa’s feelings for him? Who knows.
I’m well aware that liking Nakwon despite what he’s done to Mokhwa does not mean that I approve of his actions, nor does it mean that I condone any sexual violence towards anyone. As a survivor myself, it’s actually very difficult to read or watch any media that touches the topic of sexual violence, so I can’t ever imagine myself forgiving my aggressor if I were ever in Mokhwa’s situation.
But this is a fiction. These are characters in a story. And I’m certainly interested to see how this will all play out.
